A Soldiers Grief
by UniversalMadnessDefined6
Summary: One shot. A sneak peek into how Severus felt after being told to kill the one person who had given him a second chance. Accusations and buried emotions are asunder.


The dim glow coming from Hogsmeade seemed to illuminate the majestic figure painted by Hogwarts. The astronomy tower looking particularly cold this afternoon.

Two figures could be seen against the backdrop of the rails on the tower. The first a tall man, his impressive white beard the only colour in the room, and his half moon glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. The other silent figure dressed in a whole black ensemble, his sallow pale skin standing out from his framed dark hair.

"It must be done, Severus" uttered the taller of the two.

"But at what cost Albus, my life, my soul..."

Albus leaned his hands on the railings, the wrinkles on his face accentuating how old he felt.

"You're the only one capable of performing this task, my dear boy." He coaxed.

Severus's eyes seemed to glint as he regarded the man in front of him. His hook like nose scrunching up as he snarled his reply.

"Because I'm Slytherin Albus, because we were all preordained with evil in our blood?. Why not Minerva? Why not Filius? Why me Albus? ... Why subject me to this fate. Have I not done enough for you?"

Severus hands balled up into fists as he spat out his next sentence. "Have I not already performed to your every whim and fancy? You ask too much Albus. You ask too much. "

The air grew thick with bitterness, as Severus's quick breaths filled the air wafting through the tense silence. The Headmasters weary sigh releasing him before he could stop it.

"It is not your fault Severus, It is not who you are. I understand how miserable you were here in Hogwarts."

"Miserable?!" Severus whirled around. "What would you know of miserable Albus? You who was fully aware of what was happening in your precious school. You assumed Albus like you always do that the Gryffindors were being good sports. Exploiting their youth."

The headmaster closed his eyes as the accusations spilt forth.

"Not once did you reprimand them severely. It was all just a game to you wasn't it?! Jolly James and blemish less Black were always your favourites. Some Slytherin loner was not worth your time hmm Albus? "

"Now listen my dear boy.-" Albus's hands reached out to touch Severus, the action ensuring that Snape batted his hand away.

"You let them torture me Headmaster!" he choked. The voice of a young man spilling forwards from a buried place deep inside. His cry still continuing even after the years that passed. Perhaps he had never stopped crying Albus thought.

"I was humiliated, tortured, beaten and bullied on a regular basis Albus. And you just sat back in your raised chair and watched." Severus fists unclenched as he looked at the Headmaster with his penetrating gaze. He whirled around to face the wall. Refusing to allow the Headmaster into his pain.

"I tried Severus... But the dark arts had consumed you..." Albus whispered his face betraying his sadness.

"Perhaps I should just kill you. Perhaps I should just end this now and receive my revenge." He said advancing towards the Headmaster. "Perhaps I should just utter the killing curse and rid myself of this misery."

Albus slowly nodded his head. His silence only increasing the potions masters' agitation and anger.

Clang!

The sound of Severus's hand slamming the railing could be heard reverberating around the tower. His anguished cry unrecognizable to those not witnessing the scene. His dark cloak billowing around him and joining in with his grief.

"But that's what you want isn't it Headmaster!" His face looked up catching the pitying look in the Headmasters eyes.

"Damn you Albus!, Damn you and your nefarious plans. Damn you and your ignorance of Gryffindor! Damn you Albus!" Severus's cries of pain were punctuated by his fists hitting the railing.

The Headmaster looked on with misty eyes as he watched his impeccable and impenetrable potions master break down. Bending down so that they were level Albus waited. And sat as Severus shed his burdened tears. The time passing by with the pain filled oaths of Damn you! Albus could only bitterly look on as he realised these were the repressed tears from a child, a teenager and a young man compressed into one.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity of pain. The potions master stood up. His tears finally spent. His eyes strayed to the floor as he watched with spent eyes as the Headmaster visibly wilted.

The rush of cold night air and wind sweeping away the scene that it had witnessed.

"Forgive me Albus." He managed to say, his words leaving his mouth in a broken and shattered whisper. Conveying to the Headmaster much more than just a sentence.

With that Severus pivoted on his heel and exited the tower. His footfalls slower than usual. His task burdening him like weights. Dumbledore's eyes closed as he realised he had failed, what had possibly been the most important person in his life. He had indeed failed miserably.


End file.
